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One night as I was about to go to sleep I roll over and felt something I never had before. At first I thought it was nothing so I got up and did a check. I have had lumps before the pass even though I knew this was different. I had a breast check only a year before and I did my regular check about 2 to 3 months, and there was nothing there.
So I went to see the new Doctor as we had only just move from West Auckland so I found it hard at first as I don’t like change. I was upset as the Doctor was good at first but let me down as she did not follow up and for about 2 weeks the Super clinic and I kept phoning the Doctor for the Referral for them to see me. Finial we got it and we went in.
On the 4 th of November 2010 I seen the people at the Super Clinic after been poke at with a needle and scan so many times I was starting to worry as I knew this was different from last time with my left side. We didn’t think and we had our younger daughter with us as we thought we couldn’t leave her at home alone. I was almost the last person in the room at the back and I felt worried as I had a gut feeling this was going to be bad.
I was then brought back to the big guy and they brought in my hubby and Daughter I knew then that this was not going to be good. My husband looked at me and I just knew. I was then told that I had cancer and that I would need to have a mastectomy. I asked is there any other option I was told there was none. They gave me a few days to think about it. We pick up our middle daughter and them we told all the girls together with my older daughter and partner. I think I was in shock for some time after that, the hardest thing for me was to watch my daughter’s faces when I told them. They all pull together and help me so much as with my daughter husband to be and his family. December 6 th 2010 my operation my husband stayed with me till they put me to sleep he was the last thing I remember before they operated. I was so worry about how my husband would react when he see me for the first time
My husband was great we talk a lot when I got home. Yet I can’t remember a lot about something’s but I do know that when I talk to my husband about having a double Mastectomy as I did not want to go through a third one after this as I had already had the left side done 2 years before but the lump was removed, so I made the choice to have both removed. I went back to my old Doctor who has look after me since even though it is an hour drive for us to see my Doctor it is worth it. I meet (Jill) who was Doc nurse both look after me so well nothing was to much trouble. Jill has become a good friend.
I first meet Kath and Anne (Breast Care Nurse Specialist) when I was told about my cancer. I can’t say enough about these two ladies they have been my tower of support. Kath and Anne have put up with me seeing them for just about anything that has worried me.
I had a lot of problems after my operation with infection, 6 lots of Antibiotic and Depression. I didn’t think I would react the way I did after my operation, boy learning lesson. I was blessed with some very important people My darling husband and my daughters my sisters and a great Aunty and Uncle and awesome cousin and some very great friends. New people who came into my life, they are now friends of mine. (Tess and Lorraine) They have helped me so Much. But soon after the infection started I started to shut down and stop talking to my husband and family at times. Hiding my hurt and feelings of lost. Also trying to deal with the pain of watching my sister fight her cancer.
Why am I telling you this? I want to help others that are about to go through the biggest change in their life. I want to give back. See a counsellor if need be but find someone to talk to if you feel down, I did. Thanks Rebecca and Ruth things do come out of the blue when you are not expecting it.
Hubby and I look for information regarding Breast Reconstruction and the closes information we could get was from Aussie, from Anne. I found a good site by my iPhone of all things as you can see I added this site to my front page.
If you want to know something see your Breast Care Nurse Specialist or go to this site Beyond the shock. Very helpful it was for me late at night not sleeping.
Cancer can make you feel very lonely but it doesn’t have to be, there are people out there they do want to help. Kath said to me with one of my visit. If your partner says they don’t care about your breast not being there they still love you, believe them I know and learnt took a while but I am glad. I am very lucky to have a family that cares and supported me as with my friends and some of my co worker who understood me really well. One in particular is like family to me. My Manager was very supportive and help us out so much.
My husband family has been there for me as well Mum and Dad was just great mum talk ot me when I needed to talk as with dad they made me feel good. Moniuqe and her mum and Les went out caching with us and made me laugh and get back into things again. Family is important and so are Friends.
No regrets a new me and look at life.
So reconstruction here I come waiting list. Damn. My mission is to find out what is in NZ and put it on here for others.
In loving memory of my sister who lost her fight with cancer 1st October 2011